As we set New Year's resolutions, Americans may be looking back fondly on less divisive times, and wondering how to reconnect with friends or family who have grown distant due to political polarization, financial pressures or strife. One way to approach this is by committing to constructive dialogue in the new year.
Constructive dialogue is more than a soft skill – it is a muscle that must be intentionally built and maintained. Healthy communication skills are an essential part of a healthy lifestyle. By approaching dialogue as you would a new hobby or workout, this can be a fun and exciting process.
Rima Kawas, an adjunct faculty member at the Humphrey School of Public Affairs, can share practical, step-by-step strategies for improving communication skills and rebuilding community in a divisive era.
Rima Kawas
We spend much of our time in circles that mirror our own views. We might believe we are surrounded by diversity of thought, but the moment conflict arises, we often find ourselves unprepared. That discomfort is a flag: it signals that our "dialogue muscles" have atrophied because we aren't used to engaging with people who see life differently than we do.
Building trust is the foundation of constructive dialogue. Humanize people rather than categorizing them and focus on the person in front of you, not the issue between you. By showing genuine interest in who they are as a person, you earn the right to explore what they think later on.
Curiosity is the antidote to judgment. When you hear something you disagree with, suppress the urge to counter. Instead, become an investigator of their perspective and try to understand why they feel the way they do. Stay in the “building trust” phase until you are truly curious and ready to start a genuine dialogue – everyone can pick up on inauthenticity. Listen to understand, not to respond – if you are drafting your counterpoint while they are speaking, you aren't listening.
Disagreement doesn't have to be dire. It can be intellectually stimulating and deeply connecting. We need to rediscover the fun in civil discourse. Being aware of our own values makes it easier to “stretch” them for the sake of dialogue. While sticking to your values, try not to take the conversation itself too seriously – debate and in-depth discussion can be rewarding when we keep a cool head. In fact, it is something we need more of because we have lost some of that muscle. So have fun with it!
Rima Kawas is the CEO and Founder of The Connectors Group, a consulting firm specializing in democracy and governance, organizational transformation and executive leadership development, and is an adjunct faculty member at the University of Minnesota Humphrey School of Public Affairs. Rima has held senior leadership roles in the international democracy and governance field, overseeing multimillion-dollar portfolios, leading global teams and advising leaders ranging from members of parliament to civil society organizations. She has also led a public policy portfolio at a Fortune 50 company and served as Senior Policy Advisor to a Governor of Minnesota. Rima has represented the United States on four international delegations and is a published contributor to Diplomatic Courier and Modern Diplomacy.
About the Humphrey School of Public Affairs
The Humphrey School of Public Affairs at the University of Minnesota is ranked as one of the country’s top professional public policy and planning schools. The School is long noted for equipping students to play key roles in public life at the local, state, national and global levels and offers six distinctive master’s degrees, a doctoral degree, and six certificate programs. Learn more at hhh.umn.edu.
