The holiday season can be a warm and joy-filled time with family and friends. However, many people report elevated stress levels during the holidays. Gratitude has been associated with well-being, positive mood, satisfaction with life and reduced depression and anxiety. This is why practicing gratitude during the holidays can alleviate some of the stress associated with the season.
University of Minnesota College of Education and Human Development Associate Professor Amy Krentzman is an expert on gratitude and positive psychology, and shares her expertise on how to maintain gratitude during the holidays.
Q: What is gratitude?
Prof. Krentzman: Gratitude is a positive, pleasurable emotion that we feel when we appreciate the small and big things in our lives. Gratitude can be felt toward another person who has been kind to us, and can be felt in general about a pleasant condition such as a beautiful day. It can be expressed as appreciation for something you have, for something good that happened or even for something difficult that was avoided. While it is useful for a person to consider their own role in bringing about good things in their life, gratitude is often associated with a sense of humility — that we have a good thing or circumstance as the result of someone or something outside ourselves who has been good or generous to us. Gratitude is felt strongly in response to things a person has, but that they do not necessarily feel they earned.
Q: What are the benefits of gratitude?
Prof. Krentzman: Gratitude has many benefits. It shifts the mind away from the negative to the positive. Because of a psychological principle called the negativity bias, negative thoughts and emotions impact us much more strongly than positive or neutral ones. A gratitude practice helps to tip the balance the other way — to place emphasis once again on the profoundly positive things in our lives. People may not realize that gratitude has a social aspect, too. It can improve relationships — when someone has been good to us, the feeling of gratitude encourages us to reciprocate. That can lead to a mutual exchange of good things between people which can strengthen the foundation of the relationship.
Q: How can someone get started with a gratitude practice?
Prof. Krentzman: I favor two approaches in combination. One is to think about what you are thankful for — what you are glad about that you have experienced in the past or currently have in your life. The key is to consider ordinary, everyday things that you might have started to take for granted, like having a warm coat on a cold day. Another approach to gratitude is to look back over the past day and collect a list of good things that happened. Remember that small things count — for example, you might list, “I paid less than five dollars for a great shirt at the consignment shop.”
Q: Are there any downsides to gratitude?
Prof. Krentzman: It is important to remember that gratitude affirms the status quo. It invites us to find and appreciate good things that are true for us now. If someone is in a situation or circumstance where a change might be in their best interest, then a gratitude practice might not support that change.
Another possible downside to gratitude is that people might have a hard time thinking of things to be grateful for. This might feel discouraging. Hearing what others are grateful for, and referring to lists of things to be thankful for can really help with this. Another thing to be aware of is that a gratitude practice can get stale. Your job, your home, your health and your spouse might be the greatest things you have to appreciate. But day after day, writing, “job, home, health, spouse” can get repetitive and stop delivering the power inherent in gratitude. The challenge here is to consider different small good things to be grateful for, or to consult lists of examples, to inspire novelty and renewed appreciation for good things present in life.
Q: What are your tips for maintaining a gratitude practice during the holidays?
Prof. Krentzman: My personal gratitude practice and research on gratitude journaling have resulted in many tips for a successful practice. While it can help to think of what you are thankful for, the practice is enhanced by writing it down. This involves the use of any pen and any piece of paper, but can be made more pleasurable by finding a favorite pen and journal combination that creates a pleasant sensation when writing. Sit in a comfortable chair by a window with a nice view, if one is available. A warm bathrobe and your favorite cup of tea or coffee complete the soothing aspects of the practice, and associate the practice with pleasure. This kind of positive reinforcement will help keep a gratitude practice going.
Consider pleasant, small things that happened over the past day, such as something beautiful you saw. Consider good things — even small good things — from the present or even from earlier in your life. Consider things you might have begun to take for granted like a roof over your head, hot running water and lifelong friends. A great way to get ideas is to share your gratitude list with others — what they write down can inspire you and vice versa. Consider texting your gratitude list to a friend or to a small group of friends on a daily basis. Your entries and their entries will inspire you and lift your spirits.
Amy Krentzman is director of research and an associate professor in the School of Social Work in the College of Education and Human Development. Her areas of expertise include alcohol and other substance use disorders; addiction treatment and recovery; gratitude; and positive psychology.
About the College of Education and Human Development
The University of Minnesota College of Education and Human Development strives to teach, advance research and engage with the community to increase opportunities for all individuals. As the third largest college on the Twin Cities campus, CEHD research and specialties focus on a range of challenges, including: educational equity, teaching and learning innovations, children’s mental health and development, family resilience, and healthy aging. Learn more at cehd.umn.edu.
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